Broke Up..

27th November between 8 to 9 pm i broke up with my bf. I told all my friends and they really cant understand me. They ask me whether i will regret? whether or not that im too fast forward? but they really dont know what exactly happened?! even one of my best buddy ask me till like i did the wrong choice and keep asking me all those stupid questions. not i wana feel it that way. is her who keep using the angry tone to ask me. i feel sad and tears all around me that time but she still like that treat me. i know is me who wana break but she didnt even know the situation. i do feel a bit regret. and he ever say that if i change my mind then he will be still waiting but then at first i got think wana get back with him but i scare at last still will be the same ending. and i dont wana hurt him anymore. i guess im really not ready to have a boyfriend. but anyway i still wana thank him for giving me his precious moment and i did enjoy all the times we spent together. is just my wrong la. he will a better want. im mean! i know rite?! but still wana wish him have a better and sweet love and pray for him not to smoke again because of this. it just doesnt worth it at all. take care!! peace.. appreciate life!! = )

Secret!!

How i wish that u just didnt told me about ur secret!! I dont want this to happen but it just cant turn back anymore!!

It hurts to see you with another girl! I know im selfish but love is selfish. And i know im not ur anything yet. But i just cant control myself!! Please God can you just let the hurts scene to stay away from me?!! Could you please???

I scare that i cant handle this kinda things anymore! I been through this kinda things too much!! I just cant take it and received it anymore. I will get crazy real soon.

And i have been cried too much and my eye is just getting worst! Dammit!! I just hate guys!! I had already lost every single confident for loving a guy again. Maybe, maybe theres still a bit, just a bit more left. But i hope i can keep it till the day i found a great guy and who really do love me and do care about me. Appreciate!! Is the most important things over all.

Sadness

I cried bcos i feel sad.

I cried bcos i think is a better way to release my stress.

I cried bcos i think i will feel better.

I cried bcos my beloved aunts' just passed away & i will always miss her.

I cried bcos that gives a sign that i should appreciate everyone beside me.

I cried bcos i never get to see her again.

I cried bcos i hope she is great wherever she is.

I cried bcos she reminds me that life is short.

I cried bcos im HURT!!!

Once Again I Was Being Hurt^^

I was being hurt again. AGAIN!!! It sucks! I really hate being falling in love. Im totally...For God Sake!! Oooooh~ Our relatioship started since last two month. Thats mean our relationship already got 3 months since now. I was so trust him because he is not same as the other that i like. He is friendly and caring. So i dont know why i was falling in love with him for not even meet each other. Anyway. I still fall in love.

The way we stay together and communicate is just so like couple already. I mean SO!! But i was so confused about our relationship at first. So then i ask him about it. Coz i wanna be clear about it. His answer is not the time yet and beside we never meet before. He say that he never wanna hurt my feeling and he scare that if we started, if one day we ends, we wont be contacting anymore. He want to be my friend. Because he thinks that friend is forever but couple is just temporary.

Then one day i found out that the testimotial that i wrote for him. Has gone. I was so pissed off at that time. Because at the same time we didnt contact for 3 days. And i was thinking why is he doing this?!! I mean im so scare. He will gave up me. Then my sista Sel she suddenly ask me what happened? As i wrote "***** *** *** ****!! Why u delete the testimotial that i wrote for you?!!! I hate you!!!" On my MSN pm. Then i started to get too emotional. I told her everything then she agree that she will also get pissed off if someone did the same thing to her. And...I said "Yeah!!" *Sneeze*

After that i was crying the whole night. Coz i really do care about him. But i dont know why he did this to me. I know he doesnt mean it. But i still cant afford it. I cant!!! That night Sel just help me sms him tell him hows his piggy was feeling. Then bla bla bla. A lot!! Then we were smsing at that time too. Last last message is "ermm...how?? So what you want me to do?" Replied "Make ur decision. Friend forever??" He didnt reply. Then i sent a message saying "I let you think first. Give me the answer before the next day. If u didnt reply me thats mean you had make ur desicion. Friend forever. Ok?" Then he finally replied "Ok."

Then the next day i was waiting for his message but then he didnt sms me. Then i cant wait anymore so i sms him asking him "So? Ur desicion is friend forever?" He didnt reply me also. So i dont care about him. Then today. This morning i switch on my phone. A message. Saying "I miss u piggy. This afternoon when u message me not that i dont wanna reply. It just hard for me to choose now. Neway i dont wanna make you felt bad so i hope we can be friend. And i hope u happy and dont ever cry because of me again. Take care."

When i finished reading it. I was holding my breath and try not to cry out. Till i reached school. I was quite fine. Then suddenly my classmate who were sitting near me. Keep on "suan" me for everything that i did. It was nothing at all but then they keep on "suan" me. I cant handle the stress anymore then i cried out. I cried till cant breath. It was horrible and so suffering. I had not been crying like that tiam for so long. When is english period my form teacher was so caring. Thank you teacher!!! Love ya always.

It was hurt tho. HURT!!!!